Reigniting the passion

Follow these tips to reignite the passion in your relationship.

Five Tips

Gain perspective

Take a step back from your relationship. You may have gotten into a routine where you're the initiator and the adventurer and your partner is content with "what is." Routines mean that it's likely you aren't seeing any other perspective on the situation than the one to which you've become accustomed. Try considering your relationship from your partner's point of view, or imagine how a good friend or family member might objectively see the situation. You may be surprised! This is the beginning of change for the better.

Deepen your intimacy

Begin new conversations with your partner. Get to know them again, their likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams. When you ask a question, really listen to your partner's answers. Be attentive: don't interrupt, don't talk about yourself, don't be critical or defensive. Just make eye contact, smile, and listen.

Explore your willingness

Your partner may be withholding what you're interested in sexually because YOU may be withholding something they want from you. Ask your partner what THEY want sexually -- more cuddling, more foreplay, more intimate conversation -- then give it to them. Once you've made the effort, it's likely they will be more willing to be adventurous and meet your needs.

Vary your lovemaking efforts

Most of us assume that each lovemaking encounter with our partner has to be wonderful and fulfilling. And each time you have sex, you spend about the same amount of time and energy. It's easy to see how boredom might settle in. Instead of running for the unusual, try expanding your repertoire into three or four styles of lovemaking. Include quickies, middle-of-the-road times, where both of you reach orgasm, and leisurely sessions. A simple variation can make all the difference.

Talk. Talk. Talk.

Explain to your partner what it will mean to you for them to participate in more adventurous lovemaking. Tell your partner exactly what you want (to role play fantasies, use a sex toy, watch erotica, whatever), and why you want it. They will most likely be more willing to do something once they understand the premise behind your request. After you talk about what you want, gradually work up to the new activity. For example, an abrupt change from missionary position to a fantasy role play won't work; incremental change is more likely to wear down any resistance.

Bookmark & Share